Tender Touch - Aiya

Sup brah's?

I went down to this dink joint called Tender Touch in West Melbourne just on Dynon road, not far from Images. I had been a few times for intro's and found that the girls were usually quality, at least 4 star mince. I felt like some oriental so I went down at 5:30 am, when my dick is at it's hardest.

I rock up there and park in the discreet rear Carpark. The only thing not discrete is the peak hour traffic you have to join, coming out of the place. Some male fuckwit answers the door, looks like the chubby maitre' d in Big Trouble In Little China. What the fuck is with all of these male madams? The Papasan tells me to sit for intro's, looks at his watch and says "last booking of the night". What the fuck? Take the sign down that says '24 hours' out the front, you fucking fish head!

In come the chicks one by one, like fucking cloned sheep. They all look the same! Hot, young, Asian, slim, fair skin, sizes 6-8 max. Honestly I could have fucked all six of them. As they were all 4/5 on the cock meter I had to choose by attitude. A hot little Jap thing came in, don't remember the name but she had that cold bitchy look so I passed on that and picked a tall slim Korean girl named Aiya, 22 years old and hot as guts!


I pay the Papasan $125 for half an hour, but she was hot so I thought it should be worth paying a bit more. Upstairs, first door on the right and into a shower that was so small my cock barely fit in with me. She comes in holding a couple of plastic cups, as if there was a kids party going on down stairs. If that was the case, she came to the right room to collect her Lolly bag.

Off with her gear with very little conversation (great combination, hot and mute!). I was thinking of marrying her for a split second. Great slim bod, no sins hiding under her clothes. Great firm B cup titties, hot little gook ass, and a face straight out of those dink magazines in a Jap hair salon. She had a real porceline look. I had to deduct points for a slightly hairy box, but forgivable when judged in a holistic sense.

She was all business and slightly robotic, but she'd probably fucked 12 cunts before me, so no complaints from me.

On to my stomach and she starts by giving me a cat bath, licking me all over, which was nice exept for the fact that at times she sounded like Darth Vader's illegitimate gook daughter. Then she turns me over and starts licking my balls, FUCK YEAH I like this bitch. I got a good view in the mirror of this honey licking my nuts, which was fantastic! Then she goes to grab a drink from her party cup, I don't blame her I would want a drink too if I had just licked a stranger's balls. Then I thought "that drink smells like listerine" and before I could comprehend what was happening she was slobbering it all over my cock, NO DINGER!!!! I think I am going to marry this girl now, fucking fantastic blow job without the raincoat. Happy days!

My cock now had better breath than me! I wonder how much pseudo science has gone into testing the theory that listerine kills cock germs, perhaps the fuckwit Papasan is doing a doctorate on STI's and the counter effects of ordinary mouthwash on infectious diseases in first world brothels. Or maybe he is a cunt that makes his chicks suck off strangers without protection, or they can fuck off back to the paddy fields in rural Korea! Either way I'm happy with this mole giving me a fresh gobby.

She then sticks the dinger in her mouth and wraps it on. She lays on her back and I start sticking her like a mad cunt! She has awesome handful titties and I was ramming her balls deep. First time I've fucked a Korean and I am now a big fan! I got her to get on top and ride me. My word this girl can fuck for a 22 year old. She had all kinds of tricks including the Cambodian fuck crawl. I sat up and fucked her hard, she was fucking hot! I bent that shit over and kept sticking her, and I even threw her a bone and started playing with her clit. I ran my thumb near her arsehole but I didnt follow through, but any brah's out there that prefer to play in the mud, you may like to try.

Her arse was tiny, what a bod! This is what these fat old Aussie hookers with attitudes have to compete with, those bitches have no hope. Just when she was on her way to a near perfect score (remember she lost points for the bush) she started fucking whinging that I was taking too long to cum. I had only been fucking her for 15 mins tops and she wants to throw in the towel, the fucking mole. I decided to cut her some slack because she blew me without a dinger, and she fucked well.

I told her I wanted to give her my trademark cumshot on her tits, but all of a sudden mute girl has a voice and says "no no no no". Who the fuck is paying money here? Why the fuck do we let these whores call the shots?  Anyway I climbed back on missionary and pounded her hard until I nearly blew a hole in the dinger. Fuck I hate blowing in dingers! What a waste of a good load!

The usual post load remorse. Straight into the shower to wash the mouthwash off my cock. I'm dressed and waiting to get the fuck out, but I have to wait for this mole to douche herself with her hello kitty shower gel.
I say goodbye to Dr. Fuckwit Papasan on the way out, and hope to fuck nobody recognizes me pulling out onto Dynon road.

Would I fuck there again? Fuck yes! Same girl? Never fuck the same hooker if you can avoid it.

Anyone else have a good story of Tender Touch? Let me know.

Happy whoring fuckers!

122 Dynon Rd, Kensington, VIC 3031

Images - Rachel

MWC  CLASSIC

'Sup Brah's?

This is the first in a series of my classic fucks. We all have our fond memories of fucking hookers. Like most of you I have lost count of how many whores I have fucked. But there is always a few that stick in your head. Everybody remembers their first whore. Let me tell you about mine.

The year was 1998. Savage Garden was on the radio and me and the boys went into Images in North Melbourne for a bit of a shit stir. Visiting the hookers, even if just for a look; it is something of a rite of passage for Melbourne teens.

Up the old steps outside of North Melb train station we enter into a long but narrow hallway. We had a few intro's and the chicks were ordinary; Images is a cut price joint so no surprise there. One or two of my mates picked some girls and fucked off to a room. I was getting a bit of peer pressure to pick one too; I honestly had no intention of fucking a hooker but after about 3 seconds of deliberation with my full teenage sack I was in. I picked a blonde chick with a fair bit of meat, probs a size 12.

Into the back room we go and I didn't know what to expect. My dick had literally dragged me into this room on it's own. She tells to take a shower so I had a full on shower; washed my hair and everything like a fuckwit. She comes back in and gets her gear off, she was very ho Hum about the experience.

Her name was Rachel and said she was 22, which seemed very old to me at that age. She had blond/brown hair, decent tits and a chunk arse. She said she was half English, half Italian. What does that mean? Does she whinge while she cooks pasta?

Anyway onto my stomach and she gives a pissweak massage. I think I only paid $60 for 20 mins so I didn't complain. Then she turns me over and I start to get fired up. After inspecting my knob she rips open a franger packet and sticks it in her mouth; what the fuck? And then like magic she goes down on me and when she comes up the dinger is on my knob; Brilliant! Next I thought a dove would fly out of her cunt (turns out it was big enough to fit one).

She's sucking my cock and I'm feeling pretty proud of myself. She stops every minute or so to blow her nose and apologizes that she has a cold; congested cunt. After sucking me to full size she squats on top of me like a Cambodian fuck horse and lowers herself onto my shaft. The problem was she was loose as a goose, like sticking your dick in an open window. I start feeling her tits and they were like water bags which was disappointing for a girl her age.

She suggested doggy so I get behind her and give her the jackhammer. After a few mins of her not feeling my dick pounding her loose box I turned her around and dicked her like an old missionary fucking an aboriginal servant in outback Australia.

I went to suck on her water bags and she denied me access the fuckin mole! So I burried my head in the pillow like an old married man and ploughed away until BAAAWWW I blew inside the dinger like one of those fuckwits on the 'WL' forums. I had collapsed on her and she had to push me off as I went limp inside her. She cleaned my cock like a good little whore and wobbled her arse into the shower. I threw my clothes straight on and got the fuck out of there.

It wasn't a very good experience but a fuck is a fuck I suppose. I didn't think at the time that I would aquire the taste for whoring, how little we know when we are young. I never fucked at Images again but I have been back for a shit stir and some intro's. The place is still a dump.

Has anyone else fucked Rachel or fucked at Images? Feel free to share your experiences.

Happy whoring fuckers!

20 Anderson Street, West Melbourne, 3003.

Bodyline - Rihanna

'Sup brah's?

Bodyline is an upmarket expensive rub and tug joint in Yarraville and sits almost under the Westgate bridge. Ample parking and fairly discreet. The joint gets very busy with cunts coming and going so you can't be too shy because you will run into other horny cunts.

I walked in for a shit stir a little while ago just to check it out; I wasn't intending on buying I just wanted to suss it out.

A real bitchy madam greets you from behind a counter like some pissed of tuck shop lady. She says "have ya been here before?" and I was like "umm no". She rolls her eyes like the bitch cunt she is and says "well it's not full service here alright, it's just nude massage with hand relief, $110 for half an hour and if the girl wants to she can offer oral for an extra $30." I felt like I had just walked into a Versace store and asked how much their jeans were. Like fuck I am paying $110 for some chick to slap my cock around!

I stuck around for the intro's anyway, I had to walk down a dimly lit area to like a games area with pool tables and shit. It felt a bit like Timezone but with hookers.

The joint was too busy for mine. Too many other cunts of all ages floating around waiting for their regular tug. They look like the married guys that don't think they're cheating because 'a rub and tug doesn't count'. Perhaps they are fulfiling a biological urge to spread their seed with as many females as possible...or maybe their wives are cunts and they just want the company of a girl that is paid not to use her biological urge, that being the urge to whinge and moan like a fuckin mole.

The girls approach one by one. There was a lot of variety of pussy; young, old, you name it. Most of the talent was decent without being fantastic. Then she came in, oh my fucking sweet Jesus, the hottest hooker/tugger I have seen!

She called herself Rihanna, you know like the hot black singer that got belted by Chris Breezee. She would have been early 20's, awesome skin colour; I think she might be a dark skinned wog chick but honestly she can't be categorized or pigeon holed; she was just fucking hot! Cute sexy face, nice slim body but not too skinny, titties looked good and an arse you would eat breakfast from. Not too tall either which is what I like; I find it hard to get geed up to fuck Lurch's sister. Her demeanor was borderline bitchy but in hindsight she may have just been shy. She left and I battled with the demons of the sky rocket, my tight arsed nature won out as I could not justify spending $110 on a beat off.

For the next few nights I went over it in my head and came to the decision that one tug job off a chick that hot is worth 3 tugs at the $40 tug and run Jap joint in Willie.

Once the decision was made I called them up to see when she was next on and the tuck shop lady mole receptionist told me that she was from interstate and had gone back home. Fuck me drunk, I missed out and I have regretted it every day since. That would have been around December 2008 and I am still spewing.

It's possible that I have mythologized her and have made her hotter in my mind but I would love the chance to exorcise my demons and my load on her. If anybody has booked her when she was here or if my interstate brothers have any idea where she might be, I'd love to know.

Tuck shop lady wasn't very helpful; they must have a big turnaround there.

Any information on her whereabouts, or any tug or fuck stories you may have about Rihanna would be appreciated. If you can locate her for me, I will review her on here for my brah's.

Happy whoring fuckers!

10/21 Thomas St  Yarraville VIC 3013, Australia

14/2 Technopark Drive - The Madam

'Sup brah's?

Decided I should go back and visit this joint again for a $40 express tug. I found it was value for money last time so I thought "why the fuck not?"

I walk into Daniel Larusso apartment complex with the swagger of a resident. Ring the doorbell and the same madam answered the door; she didn't recognize my face from last time which makes me think a lot of cock goes through that place.

She takes me into the same room as last time, only this time she tells me that it will be her that will service me! Instant fat! The idea of the madam getting her hands dirty got me fired up. I tell her I'm after the express tug and she seems disappointed. "I give good oral" she says, as if trying to sell me a car. I declined her offer because I am a tight fisted cunt with money, and gobbies with a dinger doesn't really do it for me (I did ask for no dinger but she declined, the fuckin mole).

Off with my robe and onto the table I watch the madam get her gear off. She is wearing like a little lingerie suit with her titties out. Nice handful, decent body for a 40 something wing-nut with the usual imperfections that come with a chick that age. She went straight for Mr Thomas using a good steady stroke. I get the usual stock standard Asian line "oh you so big" and I temporarily drift into forum loser world and believe that I am Lexington Steele.

I must admit I do like a girl that talks dirty and she seemed to be into that even though there was no conviction in her words. As I was playing with her tits I asked if I could get a tittiefuck. She said yes for an extra $20! What is it with these upsizing Maccas whores? Succumbing to the pressure of the titties I get up and go over to my wallet to grab another $20 nearly knocking the lamp over with my new Lexington Steele cock.

I give the bitch the money and tell her to get on the bed. She says no and tells me to sit on the massage table side saddle. Like a pussy, I let this fuckin chopstick call the shots. So she gives me a standing titfuck which wasn't that great but the fact that it was the madam made it sexy.

This went on for a few mins until she pulls a tissue out and tells me to tell her when I am gonna cum. I suspiciously ask why, suspecting that she was gonna fuck up my load with a fuckin tissue. She realised I was onto her game and fired back with "because I want to see your cum". I wanted to believe her but I knew the bitch was lying. The vinegar strokes arrived and as I suspected she caught most if it in that damn tissue whilst only a bit got onto her tits.

She cleans me up and the post load regret makes me get my shit together and get the fuck out. No one sees me leave and I headed off home.

Overall I'm glad I got some action with the madam but pissed at her upsizing me for a titfuck. Must be the latest craze to get extras off the client. Overall it was worthwhile and I will be back.

Let me know if anyone went down there for a tug. They also offer a fuck for $80, but I'll stick to the express tug.

Also thanks for the feedback brah's. I find it very useful in my whoring. Keep them coming; we need to keep these whores honest!

Happy Whoring Fuckers!

Manhattan Terrace - Hayley

'Sup brah's?

Manhattan Terrace is a popular Melbourne knock shop because it is open 24 hours. A mate of mine fucked there years ago and the chick was 5 star quality mince. With that in mind I decided to try my luck one morning because I had a raging fat on. The joint is on the north end of Swanston St, pretty easy to find.

I ring the doorbell anxiously waiting to be let in...the number 14 tram passes and every cunt gets a good look at the horny cunt paying for sex, while the rest of the city is off to work. Madam was friendly enough but had a bit of a school principal thing going, so subconciously I was on my best behaviour.

They only had one girl available, which is fucking ordinary for the CBD. She called herself Hayley. Short petite Aussie brunette, she had a Kylie Minouge sort of thing about her. My dick got hard so I was in for sure...$130 for the half hour...this better be fucken worth the money I thought.

Up these rickety old steps and into a nice clean looking room. Top hygiene levels for a parlour, very impressive.

All of a sudden the floodlights come on and she's down on her knees inspecting my cock with the concentration of a doctor. She didn't ask me to cough. I passed the test with flying colours, I hope I get a certificate for my wall.

Into a nice clean shower, feeling good. She gets her kit off; she has a great body and quite a cute face. She was a little too talkative for mine, I think she was trying to offer what those deluded forum cunts call a "girlfriend experience". If she was my girlfriend I wouldn't be fucking her, I'd be fucking her sister.

She turns on some eurotrash techno music to set the mood. All it did was make me scared that some tall German cunt on ecstasy would come running in trying to fuck me.

Onto the bed we go and she starts the body slides, quite nice. She turns me over and gobs me off with a raincoat on, not the best blowie I've had. At least she let me play with her pussy a bit. Then she rides me like a good little cowgirl; very nice and really enjoying myself. Awesome titties, a nice handful. She fucks well and is very sensual and didn't seem to be going through the motions. This girl must have been in the game for a while and has her shit down pat.

I put her on her back and pin her legs behind her head, & like a rabbit I plough away. The bright downlights on her face gives away her age; she must be mid 30's but she looks fucking good for her age.

Then she recommends that I dog fuck her; who am I to argue? I fuck her doggy with her legs together; sensational, what a body. I highly recommend the boys out there to dog fuck her. It was so good that the vinegar strokes were approaching way too early.

As you might have guessed I hate blowing in dingers so I stopped & told her to beat me off onto her tits, but the fucking bitch upsized me like a fucken Maccas mole ($20 extra). I'm the kind of cunt that will buy a pair of pink jeans if a hot chick told me to, so I had no hope. She lays on her side and palms me off whilst telling me to play with her pussy. It was all good and I shot a decent load. At least she didn't fuck it up with tissues so the $20 was worth it.

Into the shower I go and feeling the usual post load remorse, wanting to get the fuck out. All the while this bitch won't shut the fuck up and wanted to discuss everything from sports to the reasons that she doesn't like cum on her face. When she saw me reading the shampoo bottle she should have realized that I didn't want a fucking conversation with her. I peeled off the extra $20 and threw it on the bed, symbolizing my disgust at her upsizing methods.

I'm probably being a bit harsh, she was a friendly girl and a great fuck. Overall I was happy with the experience, so she gets a big thumbs up from me. Remember to dog fuck her guys. She seems the type that would attract the forum heads, who like to actually talk to these girls about things other than price and position. I won't hold that against her though.

If I fuck her again I'll bring my iPod.

Anyone else fucked Haley or had an experience at The Terrace? Let me know what you thought.

Happy whoring fuckers!

Manhattan Terrace:  554 - 556 Swanston Street, Melbourne

14/2 Technopark Drive, Williamstown

'Sup brah's?

I heard about this joint in some newspaper. It's actually a normal apartment. I liked the idea of going somewhere that wasn't so parlourish so I gave it a go.

It's part of a block of units and car park is discreet; all positives. I climb up stairs to the second level of units; sort of like Daniel Larusso's apartment in the Karate Kid, only instead of Freddy Fernandez hanging around, there was some fuckwit gardener pretending to be busy.  I find number 14 and ring the doorbell not knowing what to expect. Some Jap chick answers the door; I think she is the madam. She warmly invites me into what felt like a store room. She tells me to sit down and wait 5 mins and left closing the door behind her. She was not bad looking, probably early 40's.

So Here I am sitting in a shitty room that smelled like one of those fucked up boat head grocery stores that sells fire crackers. I could hear some cunt leaving, sounded like an old Aussie cunt that just blew his RSL payment while the wife was catching up with Maude and the girls, on the bus to some backward country town. I was thinking how much I hate those old cunts that contaminate the buffet at an all you can eat joint and then complain that the scones are too hard. Fuckin' old cunts.

Then the door opens; it's a different pan-head this time, she was quite cute for a chick pushing 40. I can't remember what she called herself  (sorry brah's). She takes me to a room with a bed and a massage table. I said I was after a tug and she offered $40 for a 10 min hand shandy. What was I gonna do with the other 8 minutes?

Anyway off with the robes and onto a massage table. She gets her tracksuit off, I think it was from Forges. Decent petite bod, nice itty bitty titties. She pretty much went straight for the pecker and said she was gonna take it easy. She actually climbed on the table with me which was cool. As she was stroking my cock I played with her little tic tac tits, very nice. I went for her box but was denied access. Oh well, it's only $40. I asked her where she was from, she said Hong Kong. I started to try and picture where Hong Kong was, in relation to China on the map, when I remembered I didn't give a fuck.

I must admit I was enjoying myself, $40 is a bargain and she was worth it...I could get used to this joint. I couldn't last much longer so just like the old cunt at the buffet I wanted to see how far I could stretch my cash; I asked if I could cum in her face; I know it was a long shot but why not try. She starts ranting "oh no no no " and while she was about to give me a lecture I shot my seed all over her arm.

While she's wiping my babies off her, she makes a joke about me wanting to be a porn star, because I asked for a facial.  The moment had passed & now I have to listen to this chink give me a lecture? I had the usual post load remorse and left very quickly. The fuckwit gardener was still watering the same plant so I must have been quick.

Overall she was good and I really like their set up and their respect for the privacy of their clients. Definitely going back, great value for money.

Any other brah's been?  If not give it a go if you've got 10 mins to kill when the nagging missus sends you to the shop.

Happy whoring fuckers!

Clayton Magic Hands - Annie

Sup brah's?

I went to a joint down in Clayton south, 10 Graham St. It's near some wanky golf course and surrounded by fuckwit labourers in factories. The place is called Clayton Magic Hands. Don't get confused with the pink house at the start of the street (some frog name). I went in there once for an intro and some fucked up Maori chick came out and scared the fuck out of me.

Anyway back to the magic hand joint, I'd been before for an intro; I just visited for a shit-stir, and I remembered there was a hot Asian madam who was on the menu and another fish head in the back. I regretted not fucking her so I decided to go back.

They have a discreet Carpark around the back with plenty of room which I like. I nearly tripped over the fucking cat near the door; I could have sworn the little cunt was Ginger last time not a tabby.

Some gook douchebag opens the door and he asks me to sit on his retro 80's couch. So much for the hot madam! He starts jabbering to his girls around the corner and then goes to fill up the cats food bowl; fattening it up for dinner perhaps?

Anyway some chick named Annie walks up and tells me $70 for hand relief or $90 for a 20 min fuck. I caught a glimpse of a dark skinned hotty in the back but I think some Indian cunt had fucked her just before hand and she wasn't ready yet. Annie asked if I wanted to wait or go with her. I looked her up and down; decent body, quite tall for a dink, mid to late 30's, a bit of a horse face but she had a pleasant demeanor and I couldn't be fucked waiting so I booked her for 20 mins. I part with my hard earned to the douchebag male madam who made it a point to remind her that it's only 20 mins.

Into the room we go; it's like a scene out of one of those "shocking Asia" videos (part 3 I think). The room is filthy! As I'm showering I'm expecting one of the storms from "big trouble on little china" to come crashing through the flimsy roof.

Onto my stomach on a dirty looking bed.I get a good look at her bod...arse was a bit flabby but she had nice D cup fake titties. I usually skip the massage part but this was unusual....she seemed to be hovering around my VIRGIN arse hole for a few mins while she was nicely playing with my balls; I think she was waiting for the green light but the light couldn't get any redder....ok maybe it was a dark shade of amber.

Anyway I flip over and the dinger comes out...fuck I hate health regulations. I gotta give the girl credit, she sucks a good dick,even with the raincoat on. While she had her mouth full I asked her where she was from and she said she was born in China but was educated here and mumbled something about a masters degree as I shoved my slug back in her gob, like I give a fuck about her cv! I thought to myself that must be the reason she was trying to put on a fucked up Aussie drawl...like Hughesy if he was a cheap Asian hooker.

On her back like a good turtle and I climb on as if being watched by a 19th century Methodist missionary in Fiji. I lay the pipe for a bit while she fulfils her role as the docile Oriental girl being ravaged by a westerner. I try to turn her over so I could dog fuck her but she turns on her side instead...so I obliged. I swear my cock looks bigger when fucking Asians.

After a few mins of sticking her she breaks out of character and tells me that I need to cum soon. I think douchebag runs a tight ship. I refuse to blow in a dinger so I did my trade mark and let her jerk me onto her tits. She pulled out a little tissue like she was gonna catch it but she had no hope with the load I had built up. It was a nice messy load and I took joy in her disgusted look as she cleaned up my goo; no acting there.

As usual I had post load remorse and wanted to get the fuck out but I had to wait to use the shower. Get this, instead of taking a normal wash she gave herself a Mexican shower with a jug! And she kept her boots on! What the fuck man?! I felt pity for the poor cunt that fucked her next until I quickly realised that I was that poor cunt! Douchebag must be tight with the water bill as well as the clock.

So onto the walk of shame out of the establishment. As I walked past douchebag I caught the eye of the dark skinned honey with dark curly hair. Spewing I didn't wait for her. I wanted to kick the cat on the way out but it was gone.

Have any of the brah's out there fucked at this joint? Feel free to share your story.

Happy whoring fuckers!

Melbourne Whore Critic - Mission Statement

Hello my brothers in Melbourne.

This blog was created because I am sick of pussy hooker forums that do not address the big issues. Forums that are too bogged down in political correctness. Forums that are too reliant on what I call "whore speak". You know the kind...WL, DATY, CBJ....fuck off!!!

There will be no whore speak on this blog. This blog is for men (and women) who fuck hookers and are not deluded that these girls somehow like them. They like your money you pathetic cunts. They don't enjoy fucking us, they do it for the money, that is why they are hookers!

Let's get one thing straight before you read any further, I do not hate women but I am realistic and just as hookers treat their clients with contempt I treat hookers like paid hookers! I do not treat them as a girlfriend or a wife like those deluded "punters" in the mainstream forums. A whore is a whore is a whore and I enjoy fucking whores.

Also I must point out that I am not racist, I will fuck any colour pussy. Any remarks about race religion or creed are made purely for the sole purpose of getting a laugh. This is a no holds barred blog so if you are easily offended fuck off now!

Any hardcore bros out there that like my shit feel free to add your own opinions and experiences but like I said no whorespeak.

Happy whoring fuckers!